Dear Friends. Please be patient & understanding of my behaviors. I hit when overstimulated, but I don’t know my own strength. I bite or grab onto you when I want your attention, not because I’m being mean. I take toys from you because I struggle with sharing, just like any 2 year old does. But don’t worry, my mommy is always by my side, she stops my hits or bites and I am disciplined & shown how to touch “nice”. She makes me take turns even when I don’t want to. I am learning & developing at such a rapid pace. I’m doing the best that I can trying to make up for a year of lost time.
See, let me explain... when most of you were born, you were given to your mommy & cuddled skin to skin. When I was born, I was put into the baby bed & taken away. When you were in the NICU, you had your mommy & daddy holding your little hand telling you to hang on & fight through the tough times. When I was in the NICU no one held my hand or smiled down upon me. When you went home with mommy & daddy you had a painted room, musical toys, soft cozy blankets, and you were held and talked to. I didn’t go to a home, I was taken to an orphanage, where I laid in a white crib all day, in tiny room with blank walls. No rattles. No colors. And nobody talked to me.
When you were nursed or fed a bottle, your mommy held you close to her body. When I was fed a bottle, they didn’t even take me out of my crib. I still laid there flat and I attempted to suck down my bottle. While you worked so hard on hitting milestones, I worked so hard on “surviving” another day.
When you cried, your mommy or daddy came running. When I cried I was ignored, and no one one came... I quickly learned there was no reason to cry anymore.
So yes I carry this with me. My past doesn’t go away. But every day it will become less and less a part of me. I may get frustrated easily. It may seem rough... but can you blame me? I am cramming my few years of life into only 1 year & 5 months of having a mommy & daddy. Only 1 year & 5 months of reaching milestones and having love. Only 1 year and 5 months of having real life experiences.
So please friends... Learn with me. Share with me. Play with me.
5-15-2019